Monday, June 29, 2015

Watch Your Witness

What a week in America. It has been an eye opening experience on Facebook. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. I love to see everyone's families, children,vacations and accomplishments but I do not like to see hateful posts or opinions that are one sided. Peoples true feelings do eventually come out and it's been rather disappointing.  One thing that really strikes a nerve is when people think they understand what it's like to be black, gay or any other type of person when they are not that person. It's easy to point the finger or make judgments on your perception when you're not walking that path. Social media has been more like walking a tight rope as morals tend to go by the waste side of either speaking your mind not caring who you offend or accepting everything as good. As Christians we have a standard and it's not our standard but God's standard to love one another.
In reference to the southern flag debate those that don't get the hurt are not black. If you are white and don't understand you will not understand unless you marry a person of another race, adopt, or have black friends and you still will not totally understand. I am embarrassed to say that before we adopted Lauren my mindset was a bit different. I never though of myself as a racist person but we all unfortunately do have some racist views and it's wrong!! Many things can contribute to this misinformation and it's up to each person to work through this ugly mindset. Living with white privilege makes it hard to understand but I urge you to understand and educate yourself. Since our journey I am a changed person in many ways. My boys are benefiting from this change as well and it's eye opening. In light of the recent shooting many places want to do away with a flag that brings pain when looked upon. Some say it's a  piece of southern culture or whatever they want to call it, but culture of what?? When I think of the South I know slavery is part of their history and it's ugly is that the culture they want to remember?  I also know that there are lots of sweet kind southern people that would give you the shirt off their backs no matter what your color. If I was born and raised in the south I would hope that people would think of me in the later instead of a Rebel flag flying off my truck.You are a product of your environment and upbringing good or bad or both but when you get to the point of knowing better you do better. You can continue to fly your flag if it is dear to you but also understand the hurt that comes with this. People want to argue about where do we draw the line of offending people but I can't think of a bigger offense then this one. When I see it hanging by a house or off a car I am scared for my family. You might find this silly and maybe the person flying it is not a mean person but I don't think love when I see it nor do I think "What a kind southern town." To some it's very important to pull out the history books on the meaning of flags but to me I care about the heart. Never in my life have I ever saw people so interested in history to prove a point. The last several years I have had the privilege of walking the life of having a transracial family. It has not been easy at all, but like anything that is hard you come out better. Just recently as we traveled on vacation I was given the death stare by a woman at a IHOP in a southern state. As I held my seven year old's hand I did my best to ignore the hate so I focused all my love on my daughter smiling ear to ear excited about pancakes. I pity you lady but I also know you are ignorant and need love ):  I see it, I have lived it and finally can say I understand. I also know that in order for Lauren to have the best life possible is for her to know that I understand but also for her to focus on the good because the good is always there.
I want to share a few things that helped me on my journey of understanding black history and injustices. This film is life changing, I love this movie because of the deep message it brings on so many levels. I let my boys watch some of the movie but not all because it is rated R for a reason and it's to graphic in some parts but I want them to understand how real this is and that it happened. 
I had the privilege this year to meet a man named Frank. His mother is Sue Eakin who was the main historian on Solomon Northup's life. I meet Frank through football here in TX after Rob coached his son. After our season he brought us a signed book and later came for dinner sharing about his mom and her story. Steve Mcqueen thanked Sue during his Oscar speech. Sue is no longer with us but what a remarkable woman to keep Solomon's story alive and to preserve a piece of history and to tell his story. This is one of the best books I have ever read wrote by Soloman himself.
This is another eye opening book. A man in the 1960's transforms his appearance from white to black and lives his life in the south as a black man.
This weekend we watched Selma with the boys, another eye opening movie and so relevant with current events. Martin Luther King was one of the bravest people to ever walk the planet!! I urge you to watch these movies and read these books they are all significant and matter. Please be kind and show understanding to those that may be different we have no idea what it's like to be someone else. I urge everyone to check their hearts before any more negative posts come out on social media. You think you understand people and their feeling or their issues and you just don't. 

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  1. i appreciate this post and agree with every word. we left church yesterday, so thankful that our pastor doesn't take a political stance from the pulpit. I'm so tired of politics. but he said what we had been saying all weekend: this didn't surprise God. we are called to love and respect all people, even when we disagree with their actions.

  2. Katie, I love that you've addressed this today. You are a brave woman!

    I too have the same feelings about opinions expressed on Facebook. I'm just going to say that my son is gay and that doesn't in any way change how we feel about him or what we wish for his life.

    It's interesting that these two issues are so prevalent right now, isn't it? I think it's time for everyone to think carefully about their beliefs and what they say. I shared a post yesterday that was addressed to Christians who are anti-gay then I didn't have the nerve to leave it on Facebook and I took it off. Just because someone is gay doesn't make them bad or evil. It doesn't mean that they don't love and need God just as much either. It does make them feel that they aren't part of much of the world though.

    I'm rambling....I don't have answers. Your beautiful little girl deserves love and so does my son. I hope the world can be kinder day by day. ♥

  3. Stacy and Melodie thank you for your comments. You both are walking unique paths that is why you have compassion and love for others. God Bless

  4. YES! YES! A million times, YES!!!! Excellent post!


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