It's hard to believe that Lauren was once this little. I was reminded this week of what a awesome daughter I have. As Lauren is getting older she is asking more question and is more observant to other kids and their reactions. I want to always be open with her and show I care when she is struggling with her self image or adoption issues. Recently a girl called her a few nasty things, it really wasn't random this kid in particular is having issues with others as well. It did hurt her feelings and she did tell me which I was comforted that she feels safe telling us what's going on. The girl said Lauren was ugly which for any girl is hard but when you are adopted I think probably even harder. I asked Lauren what she said to the girl after and she said "Well, I think your beautiful!" I could not believe it. It's very humbling when your child teaches you something about life. I did not have words to even say after she told her response, it just made me cry. Later we also thought of ways to handle this situation if it happens again. I made suggestions along the lines of you need to be kind but firm and not let someone hurt you like that. Say something like..
"What your saying hurts my heart that is very mean" Lauren then says..."NO Mom, that would hurt her feeling and she would feel like she is a mean person." Anyway I have a great kid on my hands, our world needs more Lauren's.
Just the other day we were walking to go get Jaden from school. I like to take walks with her because she seems very open to talking without any distractions. On our walk I asked her if it bothered her that we looked different? I know at school everyone always asks if I am her real mom, and I am sure it probably confuses her and makes her feel awkward at times. The kids are friendly enough but each time I go in to volunteer they hound her with a million questions. I always ask if they know what adoption is and most of them don't. So I am able to gently explain and show them that I am Lauren's real mom. I really don't mind doing this since children after all are curious and mostly innocent. As we walked that day I asked Lauren if she wished I was brown like her or she was white like me? I really didn't know what she would say but I thought it was important to see where her thoughts were and see if there was anything I could do to help. She answered with a quick, NO!! "Mom I like you white and me brown" I then went into the story of how God picked us for each other and that our skin doesn't match but our hearts do, she got it. It was a moment and was a good moment and what followed next just made me look up to heaven with awe and I felt God's love. It had just rained earlier in the day and the sun was now out drying things up. There was a tiny little rainbow, and Lauren of course saw it. She loves rainbows!! I said, "Do you know what that mean Lauren?" She replies, "Yes mom it God's promise that he loves Me."
As we walked we saw yet another rainbow I said, "Lauren Oh my goodness God really loves you!" Lauren replied.."Mom and he really loves you too!!"
This was one of my favorite moments of being a mom (: Not only does my child know and love God but her heart is right and made me feel loved by God too. Adoption is a gift like no other. Since I am a mother through birth and adoption I know each is special but special in different ways. Adoption is remarkable in many unique ways. Some things that are sad or not pretty He turns into a beautiful story that only He can. It's a humbling feeling that God trusted me and ordained her life through her birth mom by giving her a chance. Out of all the kids in the world He gave me this one so he could change my life!
I love you my daughter