Do you ever look at your children and see God's love shining through them? It is one of the greatest gifts as a parent to see and it is a complete blessing. Let me share a story of what God is doing through my daughter. Lauren was a hard toddler I will not sugar coat it. She was to smart for her own good and she was strong willed. She didn't have a lot of love for me, didn't sit still, was mean and would show me that she was the boss. I tried everything!! I felt like a bad mom because all I could think about was this child trying to make my life difficult. Unless you have had a strong willed child you won't get the behavior that comes from them. It's not a temper tantrum it's a marathon!! We did have some happy moments I don't want her to sound all bad but we had a lot more rough days then good. At night I would pray that God would work through her and help her with her difficult issues AKA please God make my life easier!! I used to tell Rob joking that she is either going to go to jail or be a successful CEO. I finally came to the point that God wanted me to love her even if that meant my life would be hard. I don't know why I am so slow and God has to teach me these lessons about 70X7 times but I needed to be Christ like regardless of what I got in return. I continued to be patient and I gave her a lot grace and just kept loving her like I always have. Last year we started having lots of better days and I was seeing a very good girl. She suddenly wanted to hug me, and love me, and please me. She really wanted my praise!!! She was proud of herself and something clicked. It's been a blessing and she has become a joy! She is still strong willed that will never change and it is a good thing when you direct it towards positive things. For example she loves to read and she is reading beginner books. She will re read a sentence three times because she wants to get it right. She will swim in the deep end just to be a better swimmer, She will ask me five times to play with my phone even though I said no, ha ha..She is on her way to being that demanding CEO.
In closing I wanted to share what my beautiful daughter said to me in the car yesterday. To recap we have been looking for a house for a while but nothing is my style, Jaden does not like his school and we are living in a very small apartment. Amongst feelings of being overwhelmed and making the right choices for my family I just started to cry as we left another home that would not work. Lauren immediately says "Don't you dare cry, no..no crying!" As she is hugging me with her hands from the backseat. As we get out to go eat I dry my eyes and she looks at me as she hugs me and says "I love you mom, you are the best mom in the whole world!" I looked at her and at that moment I said, "Lauren out of all the kids in the world God picked you to give to me and I love you so much!" It was complete compassion, love, empathy and pure kindness from her. I felt as if God was hugging me through my child.
I wanted to share this moment so that I would never forget it. God has done a work in her that has surpassed all my dreams. Her teacher sent me a e-mail tonight that said, Lauren is doing very well and she very smart and that she enjoys having her in class.
Lauren hugs me everyday and begs me to sleep with her. She does my makeup, holds my hand and calls me her sister. She tells Rob all the time Mom and me are sisters. We still have our check your attitude moments often but it is short lived and after all she is still a kid. I'm sure there will be more trials down the road as with all kids but she is special.
Life can be hard and it can knock you down but when you look around your children are there to hold you. All those years of holding them and I look down and I have three kids holding me tight.
Each day they bless me and remind me what life is all about. Every hug and every conversation is a gift from your child. When they want to talk to you cherish the moment. When they give you a gift be grateful out of all the people in the world they thought of you. When they cry for you be thankful they call out to you, and when they ask you to play even for 5 minutes they love you and want to be with you. I was reminded this week what a awesome gift it is to be a mother.They are my built in friends and my biggest cheerleaders. They make me laugh each day and they are my shining stars.