The clock is ticking...I lay in bed and think about my children and what their lives will be. Who will they become, who will they marry, will they be happy? I have such desires and dreams for each one of them. As they are getting older I am seeing the innocence of little ones fade away. Each day I have a influence on them and at this point they still think I am the coolest. They ask me lots of questions and listen to my advice. The other day I took Jaden out for some alone time with me. We went to breakfast and to Barnes And Nobble. I bought him a book you would have thought I gave him the world. As we walk in the store he opens the door for a old lady. He is remarkable for his age, very very wise and so smart. Each one of my kids do things I am blown away by and some days we have days that I am disappointed. When I talk amongst others moms, and we share our stories and struggles it is freeing and refreshing that we are all going through this. One thing I refuse to believe or teach or accept in parenting is the phrase "Boys will be boys" or "Kids will be kids" I agree that all kids have their typical selfish bratty moments and recently my Lauren had a to many Disney shows moment. She told Rob the other day "H-e-l-l-o, Seriously where are my waffles?" Yikes..Not pretty. I don't shelter my kids from every aspect of life, movie, or music. We do have standards and I try to make a conscious effort to teach teachable moments in all aspects of life. I'm sad that so many parents think that kind of attitude is funny, or think it's okay to let your kids cuss to songs on the radio. ( I just heard a kid at a birthday party cuss to a rap song) grrr....It's not that I think I'm the worlds best parent by any means it's just that I don't think it is responsible to use the excuse that kids will be kids. Lauren in fact just said a very nasty word she learned off a computer game. It was the worst word you could think of, but it was not her job to protect herself from the computer. It was my job!! She was still disciplined and we had a talk about it but clearly it was not okay or cute in my book. It's never okay to hit, yell or mouth off to anyone. I don't want the world to raise my kids by what is cool. The world doesn't seem to be succeeding very well these days even though it has a huge influence on young people. We just recently let Jaden watch the documentary Bully. It's actually really good. I was completely in shock on how this particular school handles mean bully kids. It's worth watching with your kids 10+ since that is when a lot of this garbage starts. There is some bad language so you make that judgment. It was heart wrenching to see how mean kids are and no one stands in the gap for the kids that fall. I just hope my kids will be the ones that won't stand for people being mean to others or accept bad treatment from anyone. I really think it starts at home. I feel bad for some of the kids I see with the chip on their shoulders, and the bad attitudes. Everyone wants to blame the kids and this new generation and how this world is but what about the people that raised them?
Saying all this....I always want to be real with my kids and explain life the best I can. How to be themselves and be confident, not following the crowed, what to look for in a spouse some day, true friends, people who are fake...There are so many lessons that I'm trying to get out there before they get a real touch of the world. Last month for my birthday Jaden made me this card. It was one of my best mom moments. He is finally at the age where he can really see how much I love him. It makes me proud that he thinks so highly of me, my children's opinion counts the most to me!!
We have our days and some days I act a little psycho with the cleaning, and needing alone time. Hands down it's the best job but also scary. I have three blessings that depend on me and I don't always make the right choice, or respond the best at all times. I want to be Mary Poppins but sometimes I may come across as Cruella De vil in my stressful moments. I'm praying they see that I do have a good heart, I love the Lord and each day I try and do my best for them. My biggest fear is failing my children. I know I will but in my best effort I'm praying in my biggest mess ups that they will know what life is truly about and that I love them so much.