Friday, April 12, 2013

The hardest job ever, parenting

 While eating dinner the other night, I had Lauren whining, Jaden complaining and Drew cracking jokes only to annoy the others. Rob said,"I feel like we are living in a nursing home with all this bickering and complaining." They were all feeding off each other and it was so loud. I looked at Rob and said, "I don't know if I was cut out for this. I am in serious need of a vacation BY MYSELF!!" The night before I was working with Jaden for 3 hrs on his spelling words.  Nothing like waiting till the night before to learn 25 hard words. Jaden is so smart but spelling is hard for him. He got mad at me and was so frustrated he was crying by the nights end. ( He ended up getting a "A" on his test) Meanwhile during our studying I hear cereal spill all over the floor and about break my ankle over the two loads of laundry laying on the floor to see what happened. Oh my gosh!! If I could write one of those yearly braggy type Christmas cards on a day like this it would not be pretty. It would read "The kids have not had a shower in 3 days, they destroyed every room in the house, and for their biggest accomplishment they threw their wrappers on the floor because clearly they think our house is a garbage dump." This is not typical everyday but some weeks are worse then others. We have to lay down the law when the kids get this way, or I might go check myself into the asylum for a vacation. They are such great kids most of the time and people tell me how polite and sweet they are. They all have good hearts, and that is what matters to us and God most. They are kind, smart, and funny but when they don't get their sleep or try disrespecting us all goes south. I'm guilty, and have fallen into catering to them and they sometimes expect it. I don't do it on purpose but like most moms want their children to be happy and not be upset. I have really stepped back and tried to let them learn to fail more this year. I hate it but, I'm seeing it become a wonderful gift to let children fail sometimes. My husband has made me realize that they need to figure out problems on their own. Or even basic cause and effect. It really isn't my responsibility for Jaden to study his spelling list. Even though it would pain me to see a bad grade he needs to learn responsibility. I of course can always be there to help but I shouldn't have to remind him to study all the time.  If he gets a bad grade then he has to deal with the consequences. I want my kids to never miss out on fun, or lose privileges but as they are growing I can see that if you give in and make life easy they take advantage of you and become what most people call a "bratty spoiled kid." So we are really working on responsibilities, chores and respect. Not just chores to be done to make money but some things they should do because keeping your room clean should be expected.  If they want to go above and beyond to help then we will gladly pay them with spending money. So like most parents we have learned a lot in the last decade and have gone through a lot of trial and error on raising children. It really does sadden me the lack of work ethic and responsibility in young adults today. So many have affluenza and expect everything to be easy and free.  Sooner or later reality will hit and I wonder how they will cope when they don't get a great job promotion, or newest designer purse when food is more important. I really don't want my kids to be self indulgent, so we are trying our best to stop it now. In no way do I have this parenting thing figured out. It has been a ongoing work in progress since day one. It is the hardest job ever!! Lauren is starting Kindergarten next year and I will no longer have little kids. It seems like yesterday we were the young family with the little kids, not anymore. It went so fast, now we are the family with the school age kids and pre-teens.  Speaking of that...The moods are starting with Jaden.  Oh it is so amazing that at the age of 10 1/2 how he thinks he knows more then I do about some things.  So I listen and try and help and he gets frustrated and thinks I don't understand.  So like Rob said it this morning your going from slave to psychologist.  I thought it was pretty funny because with all these different personalities and drama it sure feels like it.  Have you seen this pin off Pinterest? Story of my life....

Most of the time we have lots of fun. I think kids really do like discipline and know that you do care for them deeply when we you correct them.  Drew is a dancing machine.  He dances just about everyday including break dancing. 

Video games, we put a break on those too. They play a little each day and some days we have technology free days... best decision ever!!
At last count, there were about 75 Lego kits in the basement. I had one of my mental break downs when I decided to clean it all and sort them.  I kept stepping on Lego's and the pile kept getting bigger and bigger.  Each day the boys would tell me they were working on a project.  I finally told them it needs to be put away.  Soon after mom we spent an entire day sorting the Lego's.  My OCD had been set off when they starting mixing the sets and I couldn't help myself!!  I want them to be creative but when the sets were mixed permanently I finally could not take it. The kids know they don't want me to get in my garbage bag mood. You know the one where you pitch anything not picked up within  6" of your foot. (I know most of you know what I'm talking about)  When I pull out the garbage bags my kids know I am not messing around.

Lauren's favorite new activity is doing my makeup. So here I am at at night, with my beautiful eye-shadow. I actually enjoy when my kids act like kids and the video games and TV are shut off.  It seems like something magical happens, they actually listen better and their imagination starts working again.
Jaden made his own bank. He set up a glass jar with his money, calculator, pens etc... Drew made a deposit in his bank account.
A fun new game


It's seriously amazing what games they come up with when the TV is not on.

Me at the end of the day, just keeping it real friends. I actually feel asleep after Lauren's makeup session. Being a mom is the hardest job ever.  I feel like I am constantly cleaning, disciplining, answering a million questions, driving, cooking you name it.. The funny thing is like most mom's I would not change it for the world!!!

8 comments:

  1. I can be a caterer! I completely relate to that! I make the cereal and then they say mom I need a spoon. . . bless them! My kiddos are not allowed to watch TV or Video games Mon-Thurs!!! If all goes well: books are read, grades are good, behavior etc. they can earn a "Fast Pass" for Thursday. It has been great for us!!! Legos. . . now thats another story.

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  2. OH Yes! You are a wonderful mother so hang in there!

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  3. Thanks Tonia!! I do the same with the spoon, my goodness. People like us just can't help ourselves. I was putting Drews shoes on still not to long ago😄

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  4. Love love love!!!! Yep the snap of a trash bag!!! It's musical magic!! Love you my friend!!!!! And the makeup---well it's fabulous!

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  5. The kids are smiling in every picture, they look so happy LOL and mommy looks tired! Just like in my house LOL. Yes, I tend to cater to my kids too. Bring them a drink or fork after making dinner as they sit at the table. Surely they will do the same one day for their loved ones!

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  6. Motherhood is so much work…..I thought I'd have it in the bag - it would be so easy because I love kids - I wouldn't be one of those moms who would freak out and yell. hahahaha!!! Looks to me like you are doing a wonderful job raising your kids - putting a lot of thought into your parenting of them and giving them your love and attention. They are lucky to have a mama like you!

    Have you seen this article? I got a chuckle out of it and think you might enjoy it too.
    http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/12/to-parents-of-small-children-let-me-be-the-one-who-says-it-out-loud/

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  7. I think you are so pretty. Lauren's make up application is to die for : )
    All I can say about your post is I know exactly what you are saying. My biggest fear is that Kaishon will be bratty. I always hope for the best. I think the pre teen years are VERY hard. I really thought I was going to go crazy sometimes. I don't want to jinx it by saying things are better now, but they really do seem to be. Thank you JESUS! : )

    I think you are a great mom and I have always thought that. Sending lots of love.

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Thanks so much for leaving me a comment. Have a blessed day!!

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