Thursday, July 21, 2011

Letting kids fail

Oh that stings...But I have found this lesson to be true in the last year or so especially. It is a natural impulse for moms to want their children to be happy and it pains us to see them cry, suffer, fail, not be included or whatever else challenges them. I do believe that we are our children's advocate always and at a certain age we have to be there for them to help them solve problems but then slowly we have a to back off a bit and let them solve problems. My boys get to arguing and it is so annoying at times. How many times a day do I hear "Mom!" what I want to do is solve their problems but I am finding that it is backfiring on me. So I have been trying to teach them to solve problems and think it out and that has made them work it out without my help. Now if a injury takes place that is different(: I can think of so many examples of my kids and if they are anything like your kids they will try to suck the life out of you if you allow them. More then anything I love to be there for them and guide them but the problem is I have always been there for them to much probably. Being a stay at home parent they know that your always there and your available to be right there with them and help anytime. I realized I was doing a dis justice to them by always helping them out of their problems. I don't want to raise selfish spoiled children and I could see some tendencies going that way at times. For example Drew was wanting me to get his clothes every time he got out of the bath and if it was up to him I would still be dressing him in the morning trying to get his hiney out of bed. With Jaden it pains me to see a bad grade on his school work because he is a good student but he often rushes. It doesn't reflect his knowledge just his lazy letters or numbers that can cost him an A to a C- or F even. What about food battles that has been a constant battle in our house with a couple kids. I have started giving them a choice you can eat some of your meal or be hungry I am not going to cater to each persons tastes anymore (sounds like I have experience here)

I have thought about some of the failures in my life and how I have learned some of the greatest lesson about life through them. There is not always a winner and that in life they do keep score. Your boss is not always going to tell you great job when you are working hard but to say nothing and expect more. We do our children a disservice when we cover for them or alleviate the consequences of their choices. I am preaching to the choir!!! It is so hard!! I have seen it time and time again in my own parenting this far some of my mistakes. When they are toddlers and even older most kids think they are the center of the world but as an adult the stakes get higher and our job is not always to let them win but to mold them into well rounded people.. They have to learn failure and adversity now. Down the road when they don't make the baseball team, get that promotion they deserve, or have a friend betray them they won't fall apart.

This was on my heart today and I wanted to share. As we speak Jaden is up in his room because of his negative attitude and disrespect. Parenting is not for wimps. Tomorrow I am going to share some of my favorite things in categories. I love hearing reviews and usually moms are great reviews of products.

1 comment:

  1. SOOOO much truth is this post! Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete

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